This is Rosie!

With a name like Rosie I wanted to take her to a garden for her 2 year photos.

I got smiles and laughs, dancing and giggles. I could feel my heart burst as she ran back to kiss me goodbye.

What I did not get was nauseous, sweaty, faint and fearful to the point of vomiting.

I have been doing this a while. I still get amped up and nervous before shoots.

I noticed that before certain shoots it was't nerves. It was fear and hate.

For the last decade I've said yes to every shoot people have asked me to do. 

Roller Rinks, Underwater, Births, Nudes, Horror Film Promos, Pet Iguanas, New Kitchens, Pagan Rituals and SO much more.

I have a family to feed. Bring It On!

I also think it is a challenge to push myself to do different projects as a photographer.

That being said this year I have started to say no.

In the last month I have had quite a few clients message me back that they don't believe me and still try to set up shooting dates.

A big one this time of year? Extended Family Photo Sessions.

20 or more people, all trying to match and be at the same place and time.

Last year one of my favorite photographers in town referred a family to me for a shoot.

They show up already irritated with each. Hey they are family! lol so I get it.

One little boy was so sick and running such a high fever he cried the entire shoot.

I understand why they did not reschedule. It is extremely tough getting 20 people together in this day an age.

After the fourth time I asked the parents to move or hold the kids. I honestly gave up trying to make the pose look good and just took the shot.

I shouldn't of. A year later I still feel bad about this. It is my job to control this.

After I sent off the gallery the mom messaged me. "None of these look good."

I didn't want to tell her she was right. I knew in my heart when I hit send they were not good. 

I did not charge her for the shoot. I was so heart broken at failing her, her family, the photographer who recommended me and lastly myself.

I noticed before certain shoots I was starting to get anxious and panic.

It got worse.

The night before one large shoot this spring was spent in my bathroom vomiting. 

So I decided no more. Specifically no more shoots where I would not be able to reshoot if something went wrong. Weddings, families, births.

I do love them. The rush of energy. Not knowing what is going to be thrown at you and the thrill of making it work.

But as BB King would say, "The Thrill Is Gone."

So no more. I do kinda feel like a coward. I do not feel panic and sick though!

If Rosie had been running a fever, or tired from no nap, or she had not slept well, or she was just not ready to be friends with me, I could easily turn to her parents and say, "Let's try another day! We have a whole year of her being two to capture that personality!"

I didn't have to though. She thought I was perfectly funny looking!

Now my biggest worry is where did my bubble guns go?

Family 2016 (64 of 149)